Good morning y’all! How’s it fucken hangin? Sorry, I’m in a weird mood writing this one — I have a headache and it’s cold and miserable outside again/still so I’m in quite the funk. Let’s not let that affect this recap too severely. We’re taking a look back at the ninth chapter of Bad Town For A Pretty Face: Miami, with all its drama and going-ons, so make sure you’ve read the whole thing before scrolling down or you’ll get slammed with spoilers!
We’re with Inez! Which I was so looking forward to, I do adore her. And we’re back to the big showdown between the two gangs, wherein Mirabelle is about to launch a surprise attack on a trio that was trying to hide away. Inez had given this plan to the group off-screen, with caveats, and now it’s in action. Mirabelle, Drew and the trio get out of their respective cars so Mira can say “Hello, Lana. Hello . . . other ones,” which is fucking hilarious to me (not that I’m biased, having wrote it). Candy, Solana and Elvira have been hunting them from a distance, so really it figures that Mirabelle doesn’t know their names and only kinda knows Solana’s. I had this planned from the beginning when I referred to Elvira as The One With All The Hair whenever we were in Mirabelle’s gang’s POV. The girls are shocked and wildly offended, which is perfectly in character.
They probably Should Not be trying to kill these girls right now, considering the state Drew’s in. She’s not fully healed and not fully okay as of yet, so they’re at a disadvantage there. Candy wants to know how they found her house, and Mirabelle tries to respond but ends up monologuing. I know y’all recognize an Incredibles reference! Inez reveals that she found Candy through snooping and not Shay, which I wanted established early in the chapter so you guys can feel certain there wasn’t a betrayal, even though Candy doesn’t have that luxury. And then Inez clenches a remote, and it’s time to worry because a remote almost always means bad news in a bad town. We get a flashback to Inez revealing the plan via PowerPoint (per Drew’s request) and we get to see that she’s damn funny. The difference between what you can write and sign are significant, especially for someone who’s only been signing for a few years. Not to say you can’t be sarcastic or implement tonal changes in ASL, but it’s interesting to see her communicating in a different vein. The plan is simple: she and Shay are sniping from an apartment and far away abandoned building respectively, Drew and Mirabelle are performing point blank murder. Easy peasy, right? Maybe not when Inez has hidden a drill in the building and weakened the floor so it would collapse under Shay’s feet. She’d be trapped, but hopefully uninjured, and no one would know that it was actually Inez’ doing because she’s been aware of the secret relationship this whole time. Less easy, but manageable for Mirabelle’s little genius, right?
The floor caves in to mostly nobody’s attention. Candy knows, which we’ll get to next chapter, and Mirabelle of course is worried about floors she was already told were weak, but other than that it’s like nothing’s happened. And then the big shootout begins! Solana kicks it off by committing a heinous murder wherein she hurls a grenade at Elvira’s beloved old bitch of a car. It explodes into a burst of flame and smoke, quickly melting down to its bare bones. Huge RIP. Slam that F guys. She’s so happy about it too — focus Solana, you’re getting shot at! Everyone ducks for cover, runs their separate ways, and soon we’re stuck in a stand-off, just like our very first chapter.
There is finally a hit once Inez gets to thinking. She can’t find Candy and figures out Shay must have texted her a warning, or she figured out that she’s in the collapsed beer depot, so instead of looking around the hardware store Solana and Elvira are hiding in, she sees something from the corner of her eye and shoots — and Candy screams. Drew and Mirabelle rush Solana and Elvira, but when Candy limps out of the shadows Drew turns on the spot and nearly kills her. Inez had shot her in the leg, and she was hobbling, weakened, and had zero cover, so Drew and Mirabelle go in for the kill. It looks bad, but maybe not as horrific as Inez trying to kill her and actually shooting her when she knows she and Shay are dating.
With Mirabelle and Drew storming her way, and Candy in a ton of pain to the point of feeling ill, she lifts her hands in surrender. It’s interesting to note that she’s yet to pull her gun out — looks like our most morally righteous gang member can’t bear to hurt the other team, even when they’re actively hurting her. But then she yells “Wait! I have information!” and turns to Inez. She asks if she saw Candy’s criminology degree from the University of Miami, which, whoa! That’s some unexpected info, huh! Look forward to a monthly extra on that, that’s a fun subject. Inez just stares at her, so she continues by looking at Mirabelle and telling her she probably shouldn’t trust the fed she’s working with. They had a few classes together so she has some information Mirabelle might want to hear.
Now, Mirabelle has no idea Shay told Candy about the fed: from her perspective there’s no way she could know unless she really did go to school with the agent. But from the apartment window Inez is internally screaming, because holy fuck Mirabelle don’t fall for that! No, Inez knows their fed isn’t a local and therefore didn’t go to school with Candy, and she’s just trying to worm her way out of getting murdered. Inez gets ready to shoot her, albeit with shaking hands, before she can do any more damage. Mirabelle begins to say ‘maybe,’ so it seems that she is considering Candy’s bargain, but Inez doesn’t get to hear anything further than that. She forgets to focus on Solana and Elvira, and they’ve gotten to the roof of the hardware store, at a decent angle to throw something — but was it a grenade or a flashbang? We know Elvira almost always carries both on her, so after Inez hears a blast and sees a flash of white what is it? Is she hurt? Is she dead? Find out! In chapter ten, the climax of our story. See you kids later! I still have a headache! And it’s snowing now! Fuck! Okay bye!